Space

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A while ago I walked into the cosmetology school where my sister teaches  ready to go out all. By all out I mean, purple. After hours and hours of flipping through pinterest, tucked between what to do with used essential oil bottles and one pot meals there was the most beautiful, lavender hair color I had ever seen. I had to have it, like call it precious, it will be mine, kind of had to have it. So off to the school I went.

What I soon discovered is my hair did not like it. No really, it hated the color so much that even after bleaching, coloring, layering, tinting and whole bunch of other things, it came out brown. It looked like we had done nothing to it! Four hours of sitting there and nothing. Quickly the game plan changed and my head was promptly stuck in a bowl and coated down, to which I came out with a pretty pink color and off I went.

Well, I never got that purple color out of my head. I mean how could I? I had basically named it and started it a collage fund before I had even gotten in the chair. So I had to try again. What kind of quitter am I ? We went round two. Me vs the purple hair.  After hours of bleaching, coating, tinting and coloring it came out purple. Full on my little pony hair, no soft lavender, instead bright toy isle kind of purple. But I love it. See it might sound crazy but it taught me something. Something big.

I am allowed to take up space. Let me explain, even with my tendency to put my heart out there and rock some crazy clothes or hairstyles I still feel the need to make my self small. There is this fear I carry that if I am too much, then some one might feel less. That if I push too loud, be to transparent, be too purple, then someone will feel like their life isn’t enough. Not that my life is all amazing and big, but I don’t want  anyone to ever compare and feel like my life is this amazing big insta-story perfection!

Why? Because I’ve been there. I’ve been the girl watching people I adore lives take a turn and wonder if there was any room for me anymore. I’ve been with the people who seem to have never meet someone they didn’t know and that didn’t love them on the spot. I’ve been the girl in the corner wondering if my two cents were really cents at all. So I shrink my self down to as small as I could till I hear barley hear whispers of purple. I joke, but seriously. Once I took a jump and got out of my comfort zone, I found my voice through my purple hair but, I didnt realize that God was trying to tell me something all along. He was trying to show me that I was created to take up space. Its ok for me to be noticed and not blur into the background. I was created, maybe not with purple hair, but to be seen for Him. In that space I get to love. I get to have conversations with people who stare at my hair not sure what box to place me in. I get to smile and be remembered. I get to use my purple hair to direct people to Jesus, to love, to hope. My purple hair is breaking walls and boundaries. Here I was just thinking I was having a mid-life crisis early, I had no idea there would be so many lessons in it!

God created you because it was good. It was good, needed, worthy, and wanted. God wanted you on this planet. Your voice. You are to take up space. You don’t need purple hair or a big personality. There is a space that you were created for. Maybe your hands are the hands that need to wipe away tears or give out sandwiches. Maybe your voice is here to lead others in worship or whisper lullabies in the early morning hours. You might create meals to feed those that are sick and overwhelmed, or maybe you deliver cups of coffee at just the right time. What ever space you take up, take it up in love. By showing love. Keep you comparison blinders on and keep your eyes on Him. He will show you where your space is and He will show you when your space changes.

So women of this world I challenge you, take up loving space. You might not need to dye your hair purple to find you space, but you do have to get out of your comfort zone.

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