I wash most of my laundry at least twice, not out of an ocd, but out of a deep need for clean clothes. You would think, washing them once would be fine. But, when you wash a load of laundry and its forgotten for days, running it over and over is vital. It quickly goes from clean to dirty, from laundry being done to starting over. Daily life over powers the task at hand, till you feel done.
It is so easy to feel done.
Not in a finished, accomplished, slay the dragon kind of way. But in a; I can’t even, falling apart, dry, kind of done.
The kind of done that leaves you in yoga pants waiting for bed time by three in the afternoon.
The kind of done where you have nothing left and your not sure if you care or not.
Life spins quickly forward which can leave a person wrung out, like towels in the spin cycle, with nothing left. It becomes so easy to stay in the done dryness of life. Settling into the mentality of this is just the way life is but, in that settling things begins to grow. The mold and mildew of spoiled thoughts and rotten dreams are mixed with a negative fabric softener. You can keep the door closed, forgetting what lays underneath but it becomes wasted. All those dreams, passions, and drive that God has planted in your heart lays dormant.
Thankfully, just like grabbing some more detergent and vinegar, you can re wash the done-ness out of your life. Pouring over the word and filling your time with rest helps reset this spinning life. It’s one thing to read over scripture and run back into the world, it’s another thing to settle into it and carve out time to listen. It is so easy for me to skim through a verse, check it off my list and move on. Never fully settling into what I am reading, never taking the time to listen, never giving my soul time to catch up with the rest of life. I tend to let the done rule. I am learning in these done moments I have to register that I feel done, search my soul, and take the time to wash it out. Cleaning out the junk with cold water on delicate is what the heart always needs.
Be delicate with your heart. Take your time, soak up the the living water, and dance a little. Parts of life can wait a few more seconds for you to be risned out again.