Unequipped. Thoughts on being called

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He doesn’t call the equipped.
He equips the called.

How many times have you heard those simple sentences? I know in my life, a ton. With every season of change someone always quips; “God doesn’t call the equipped”…..
Honestly. I would slightly roll my eyes and wonder what on earth that even meant in the situation I was in. I didn’t need to be told how un-equipped I was! I already felt my lack of measuring up in every way, being reminded of that didn’t seem to settle my doubts at all. If anything it made me want to crawl up in a ball and weep.

Then a weird thing happened. We started homeschooling. Now before you get any further this isn’t a pro homeschool manifesto. It isn’t all the reason you should home school or to shame a public school mom. Momma, listen to me, how ever your family learns and does the school thing, you’re doing a great job!
Really!

Homeschool mommas, truth be told, I am a very reluctant member of this group. I didn’t start out with Charlotte Mason’s books in hand, ready to pour into my kids all their education. Nope. Not me. But something happened. My kids struggled, struggled hard in public school. They had their own drastically different sets of problems to overcome that made them not thrive in that kind of setting. Honestly when we pulled them out last January, it was purely to help figure out what they needed and to have them re-enrolled this fall.

But, like most things I have “figured out” and planned, life didn’t go that way. Like not at all. Something started happening, my kids with all their issues and struggles, started doing so well that neighbors noticed. I mean really, you know your kid is growing leaps and bounds when other people comment on it by their own free will. I started looking at this homeschool things as less of a quick fix and more of a season I was very slowly and reluctantly stepping into. It took me a long time to even write the word Homeschool, let alone even tell family and friends what we would doing.

Jump to earlier this week, as I scrolled instagram, I yet again saw those two lines:
He doesn’t call the equipped.
He equips the called.

It started to hit me. There is nothing about me that is equipped to teach my kids. Ya’ll Im a dyslexic mess that still has people count change for me!
Here I am teaching kids how to read and write. How to tell time and count money. It boggles my mind.

I’m learning what equipped looks like. I always thought it was suddenly knowing the steps and having the confidence to walk them out through that knowledge. But that wouldn’t be faith. That wouldn’t be trust. That wouldn’t be constantly having to rely on God to keep going. That’s what equipped is. It’s relying so heavily on God that you are in step with Him. I think of it like a little kid standing on their daddy’s feet to dance. The little one sways with the beat, constantly slightly shifting their weight to stay on His shoes. All while He holds their hands and carefully moves his feet to the beat, slower than he normally would, because he is careful to keep his little one’s feet firmly planted on his. But they dance together.

In my book, thats being equipped.

 

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