Today is world suicide prevention day. There are so many thoughts that I just haven’t been able to get out about today. I think about the first time I thought about ending my life. I was nine years old sitting in a tree. I think about how many times I’ve survived my attempts, those I love that didn’t survive theirs, and those that hide in the shadows unable to find the words to express and explain those echoing thoughts that urge them to in that darkness.
It’s a darkness that seems like there will never be an end. A darkness that says you are the only one that has ever and will ever struggle. But you aren’t alone. You are far from alone. There are so many stories of people that never thought they would make it out and they did. Stories save lives. When we share our stories, we shine light into the darkness.
There is no fear, no shame, no condemnation. Only hope. Hope that others will have for you even when you don’t have it yourself. Hope that I have for you, for all of you, always. Because as I breath, I hope.
I share my story not because I have it together or I figured out on my own how to beat that darkness. I don’t have it together, I don’t have it figured out and I cant beat that darkness on my own. But, I can share and shine light into my own past and hope that it will someone how help other see the cracks of light in their own stories.